how to love yourself | build your bliss

By now, I’m sure that many of you have seen (or at least heard about) the controversial video that was posted by YouTube “comedian” Nicole Arbour last week.

The rant-style video entitled “Dear Fat People” has caused quite the uproar and [allegedly] also led YouTube to temporarily suspend her account (read about the other speculations here). Whether or not YouTube actually did step in, the harmful nature of the video speaks for itself…

I’m not going to get into the technical inaccuracies of the video. We all know that there are a variety of health issues that can cause a person to gain weight quickly and unexpectedly and that a person’s health isn’t necessarily defined by their jean size. Every person has a past that has led them to where they are today and it is ignorant to assume that every overweight person excessively eats McDonalds and Krispy Kreme Donuts every chance they get. That’s just not how it works.

But like I said, that’s not what I’m here to talk about…

What I want to talk about is WHY this type of thing would ever be considered “funny”.

In a world where children, teens, young adults and grown men and women are constantly falling victim to depression, self-harm and suicide due to prejudices and bullying, why would anyone think it’s okay to then shine a judgmental spotlight on the overweight population? Who does it benefit? No one. Cyber-bulling is still cyber-bullying whether it’s coming from an anonymous instagram account or a very popular YouTube star. It’s painful, hurtful and dangerous, no matter who the source is.

Fat shaming doesn't save lives, it kills them.

— Tess H🍒lliday (@Tess_Holliday) September 6, 2015

As someone who has dealt with body-image issues my whole life, I can say that hearing overweight OR underweight people shamed for their bodies makes me sick. It’s hard enough to love ourselves in this overly-critical world and and I can’t believe than anyone (let alone a female) would come along and choose to make it even harder.

We should be loving, supporting and encouraging one another through the good times and the bad. We should encourage those around us, no matter what size or shape they are, to nourish their bodies and find a weight that makes them happy and healthy.

We should live to inspire others through positivity, not criticism.

Here’s to never-shaming, ever-loving…

-Emily

Follow me on Instagram & Twitter @missemmmysue

Dating is difficult.

For everyone who seems to have found the “one” without even trying, I envy you.

It hasn’t been that simple for me. In fact, it hasn’t been simple at all. Every date and relationship has been different- some good, some bad- but I’ve learned a lot along the way.

I’ve learned that I don’t do virtual dating. It works for some people and I’m not one of them. I’ve learned that first dates are almost always awkward. They just are. I’ve learned that age is merely a number. A guy can be 10 years older than me and still extremely immature. Likewise, he can be younger and have the life-experience of a 30 year old. I’ve learned that relationships are about compromise. You give and you take and you don’t ever hold the giving over each other’s heads. I’ve learned that honesty is key. Being open and up-front about what you want, need, and desire is the only way you’ll ever attain it. Nobody can read minds. I’ve learned that trust is the foundation of every friendship and every relationship must be built from a solid friendship. I’ve learned a lot.

But there is one thing that I’ve learned that stands above all the rest…

In order to love another, you must love yourself.

Don’t rely on another person to bring you happiness. Find it within yourself and then share it in the form of loving someone else. That is where beautiful relationships spark, grow, and flourish.

Love happens when you stop searching and start living. Trust in that.