the problem with perfection

I kind of hate the word perfect.

But, at the same time, I idolize it. I crave it. I dream of it. I spend half of my time fantasizing about how much “better” life would be if I could finally achieve it and the other half wishing I could destroy the concept all together. It haunts me.

The burning desire for perfection seems to consume some people more than others; though, I think it’s rooted down somewhere in all of us. For me, the dream of a perfect life, perfect body, perfect career, perfect boyfriend, perfect everything managed to take over my mind for longer than I’ve ever been willing to admit. Over the years, many of the times I claimed to have found “freedom” from the burden, I was actually just changing direction to obsess over something else.

Through my experiences, I began to realize that “perfect” was a figment of my imagination.

I starved myself down to my “perfect” dream body and found discomfort and unhappiness.

I dated guys who were tall, ripped, rich a “perfect” and found emptiness and loneliness.

I pursued the “perfect” career that I thought I was destined for and found absolute misery.

It didn’t make any sense. I kept getting all of the things I wanted and still never felt satisfied, let alone happy. The discoveries eventually led to depression. If I wasn’t able to be “perfect” or “the best” at everything I did, what was the point? What could possible be my purpose? Mediocrity?

That’s the problem with perfection. It convinces us that these outward things will brings us bliss. That if we just try a little bit harder, we’ll get there and everything will fall into place.

It doesn’t work that way. 

Perfection doesn’t exist and happiness isn’t found in the world around you. If we ever truly want to discover bliss, we have to let go of those notions and shift the focus to the beauty, strength and kindness within ourselves. It’s all in your control.

12096168_10153362854079753_1831635123174899083_nTrust your body. Eat well and move often and you will settle into your happiest weight. Stop looking for the love you think you’ve always wanted. There is someone out there beyond your wildest dreams. Listen to your heart. Allow yourself to fill your days with things that make you joyful. Those are your passions. Don’t be afraid to pursue them.

When the desire for perfection is removed, your mind, body and soul are free to become what they should have always been…and that is far more  remarkable than perfection could ever be.

Here’s to beautiful imperfection…


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  1. Teresa said:

    Beautiful and inspiring thinking 🙂

  2. YES YES YES. I am such a perfectionist and I find it sucks the joy out of my life. It’s something I actively work on every day to combat. Thank you for this reminder!

    • Emily said:

      You’re welcome! I think it’s something we’ll all face every day but the more we challenge it, the less overwhelming it will feel. xo

  3. Jenny said:

    It’s like you are in my head!! I can relate to so many of your blog posts, especially this one. I’m 40 years old and I am always trying to let go of this stupid quest for perfection. It’s so hard. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone.

    • Emily said:

      You are so welcome, Jenny! Thank you for taking the time to comment. Knowing that I’m not alone helps me more than anything as well. I think trying to focus on small changes and challenges every day will eventually make a world of difference and we’ll look back in awe of how ‘perfection-consumed’ we used to be. ❤

  4. Kelsey said:

    You have such beautiful words, Em. Our journey, while not the same because of being our own unique selves, are so so similar. ❤

    • Emily said:

      I’ve noticed how similar they are as well. It’s amazing to know we’re not alone. Have a beautiful week, love! xo

  5. madelyn said:

    cannot thank you enough for this reminder ❤ i've found the thoughts of achieving perfection taking over my mind now that my schedule is filling up, and i will definitely be challenging those thoughts starting NOW 🙂

    • Emily said:

      Yay! I love that. 🙂 Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment, girl. Have a beautiful week! ❤

  6. Shawna said:

    rooting for you, on your new journey to happiness that isn’t defined by the size of your jeans or the body of the boy you date. i think we all need to go through these personal journeys to discover what matters the most and what it means to be an integrated, genuine human being with a love for life and a desire to work on character above all else. hope this is just the start of a wonderful phase in your life.

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