I know I can’t be the only one who has spent the majority of my life in horrible fear of vulnerability.
Opening ourselves up and exposing who we really are feels like a sure-fire way to get hurt. When we’re living underneath a facade, being judged, unaccepted or unloved doesn’t have quite the same effect…because the person being hurt isn’t really us. So we live a life of “pain-prevention” , build up walls around our hearts and minds and allow very few [if any] people to ever get a peak inside.
Because what lies behind those walls is vulnerability.
But that’s not all that we’re hiding. Without the ability to feel pain, we also numb ourselves of the ability to feel joy and happiness. We seclude ourselves into a safe-haven of comfort and certainty and refuse to open up…refuse to truly feel. The confident, care-free and comfortable soul we had and shared as children becomes hard, reclusive and defensive. Because it’s easier. There is no uncertainty. There is no unbearable hurt…but there is also no unbelievable joy.
So, today I challenge you to slowly start breaking down your walls. It’s a process that surely won’t happen overnight…or even in a matter of days, weeks or years. Actually, we will probably never rid ourselves of them completely and that’s okay. Just break off a chip. Smile at a stranger. Hug your parents. Tell your friends you appreciate them. Allow yourself to love and be loved.
If nothing else, challenge yourself to stop watching your life from the sidelines and jump in to feel it. Even if only for a moment. That moment will lead to two and three and days and weeks. So, take a breath, count to three and give yourself permission to break free.
I’ll be right there with you.
Here’s to breaking down the walls…