curveballs

Where do I even start?

I’ve been promising an update post for months now and have been putting it off for a variety of reasons. At this point, so much has happened that recapping it all would be lengthy, boring and unnecessary – dwelling on the past is exhausting and accomplishes nothing.

The past 90+ days have been exciting, overwhelming, eye-opening, liberating and stressful (among other things) and have taught me more about myself than I ever could have imagined.

As most of you know, my editorial internship recently turned into a part-time position that I couldn’t be more thankful for. I would love nothing more than to pursue a career in journalism and work for a magazine or digital publication of some sort. I’ve fallen head over heels for this industry.

Along with that new position, I took on a second job a few months ago in a different field that had always interested me. It was fun, exciting and completely different than anything I had ever done. It allowed me to leave my serving job and I finally felt like I was wearing my “big girl shoes”.

I was on top of the world.

It was only a matter of weeks before everything started crumbling beneath me. I began to realize how difficult maintaining two jobs that require a physical, mental and emotional investment is. 40+ hours a week plus 25+ hours a week began to take its toll and stress and anxiety set in.

058a77ab9fcaa861bf2e090df848bd68Admitting defeat is nearly impossible for me. I’ve always prided myself on being able to work hard, stay balanced and deliver better-than-average results. This time…I couldn’t do it. 

When fleeting moments of stress manifested into anxiety attacks and nervous-breakdowns, I knew. Work had taken over my life and I wasn’t happy. I couldn’t do it all. Something had to give.

Which brings me to today. As of next week, I’ll be back to working one career-focused job and picking up shifts at the restaurant a few nights a week. Do I feel like I took 2 steps forward and 5 steps back? Sometimes. Am I embarrassed that I couldn’t handle it all? A little bit. But I made a choice that allows me to focus whole-heartedly on what I’m passionate about and that’s okay.

The past 3 months brought me back to the idea that Build Your Bliss was founded on; happiness.

It isn’t one-size-fits-all. Life will forever be throwing curveballs and we have to decide whether we want to swerve out of the way or reach out and catch them. You have the power so don’t you ever, ever feel ashamed of the path you choose. You deserve a life filled with happiness and, to achieve that, you must first discover thing things that bring you joy. So, try everything, take chances, make mistakes and then use what you learn to build a world of bliss that you’re truly excited to live in.

IMG_2126Here’s to rediscovering our happy again…

Emily

16 comments
  1. Good for you girl! Being able to step away from something is one of the hardest things, but it shows your maturity and that you’re really in tune with what’s best for you. I applaud you for your decision and I am sure it will pay off in the long run. Stressing yourself out and spreading yourself too thin is no way to live….so you made the right choice! 🙂

  2. It insane how much I can relate to this. I have such a hard time admitting I can’t handle something, or that I need to ask for help. I know I always end up feeling much better after the fact though. It sounds like you’ve found a good medium, balance is definitely key. I struggle a lot with doing what makes me happy instead of doing what I think I need to be doing. Did you get your degree in journalism? It sounds like such a great opportunity that you’re loving so far! Happy Friday and thanks for the update, it’s always good to hear about your life 🙂

  3. Kelsey said:

    Sometimes it can be hard to give up certain parts of life, because in the end, we think they will help us with where we truly want to be. But making this decision is an amazing thing, and something that will definitely change your happiness levels. Life tends to work itself out, as cliché as that may sound right now.

  4. I think you’ve made the best choice for you! It’s really important that we realize when we’ve taken on too much and when obligations become too much to handle. Good for you for knowing yourself well enough to recognize this before things continued to really spiral out of control! PS – Love the hair!

  5. Working two jobs is HARD! I did it over the summer and it really is draining – mentally an physically. You definitely didn’t take a step back, happiness is key!! ❤

  6. Taylor said:

    Ohh how I completely a hundred million percent relate to this post! While I get the slight embarrassment part of not being able to handle things, I think admitting that it is draining in many areas of your life is extremely important to obtaining balance. While it may seem like you are taking a step back now, you are most likely giving yourself some clarity and preporation to completely take hold and rock the socks off the job you have, with new amazing hair by the way! 🙂

  7. Floey said:

    Emmy we are twins! I feel like emailing you because I went through the exact same thing a few months ago (working a full time and part time job) and thinking I could do it all (yeah right!). It was really really hard for me to let go of one and realize I’m not as powerful as I think. I’m so proud of you for listening to your health and mind. in the end that’s really all that matters…if you dont have your health and sanity you have nothing.

  8. Your gut instinct is telling you to get out ASAP, mine’s telling me to dive in headfirst. Either way I think it is SO important to listen to your gut instinct. More often than not, it knows what it’s doing 🙂

    Recently, I contemplated applying for a course which would be a major deviation from what I’ve been doing (or a major step in following my dream. Depends on who you ask). Luckily, applications had to be in within 24 hours of me even first considering the possibility of applying, meaning I was forced to just go with my gut instinct. Had I had more time to dwell on it, I’m not sure I would have had the nerve to apply and I would have been left with nothing but regret.

    Here’s to following our instincts!

  9. We already talked about that but you know I think you made a very wise – albeit hard – decision to resign one of your jobs. 60+ hour weeks is intense and not sustainable in the long run. Sure, I know a number of people who work or have worked that much over years but it’s neither recommendable nor healthy. So when you say you “couldn’t do it” that’s: couldn’t without sacrificing health, sanity and happiness. And those should never be sacrificed.

  10. P said:

    That quote you posted is SO true! And I admire you for being honest with yourself. 🙂

  11. So proud of you for realizing you needed to change something! If it does not make you happy change something! It is good you got to experience that and know that is not what you need!! Love you lady!

  12. Sometimes it’s hard to admit that we just can’t handle it all. After all, we’re only human. Love the hair picture btw! xo

  13. Irina said:

    I’m so proud of you for stepping up and doing what’s best for your happiness and well-being! These sorts of decisions are often the toughest and you faced it with maturity and rationality. I’ve quickly come to realize that health should be a top priority because without it we can’t do much else in life.

    Oh and your hair looks fab! And you look very happy ❤

  14. Oh girl, I can SO relate. I was in that same boat so many times (I wish I would’ve learned from the first time, ha).I think that’s what our twenties are for, though – figuring out what we can/can’t handle and what’s best for US/how we’re built! Go easy on yourself. Look at this as a fresh start – a welcome new beginning 🙂 ❤

  15. 65+ hours of work a week, HOLY HELL NO!!! I am thrilled you decided to take hold of your life’s path and re-focus!!! 🙂

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