loving from the inside out

52 <— The number of hours I worked last week.

It won’t always be that way- thank goodness- we just happened to lose people at both of my jobs over the past few weeks so I covered extra shifts. But, surprisingly enough, I didn’t really mind it. I was having fun, being productive, and spent my days helping and interacting with people. I love that.

Now let’s share our thoughts over a virtual cup of coffee, shall we?

securedownload-2Anyone who works in customer-service understands how difficult people can be. There’s no getting around it. And if I had my jobs a year ago, I’m not sure I could have dealt with it. My OCD was at an all-time high and things had to be done my way, in my time. Of course, that’s not how life works and I was left bitter and constantly frustrated by the people around me. It was miserable for everyone involved.

I was convinced that this negativity was caused solely by the world around me. After all, I was doing everything “right” so it couldn’t be my fault, right? Wrong, wrong, wrong. 

Over the past few months I’ve learned something that completely turned my life around…

I learned to love myself.

aabb67aee62c96f49a7a55c645b15195It became obvious that the ‘flaws’ I was constantly finding in other people were actually manifesting from things that I didn’t love or accept about myself. I was unhappy with myself and the things in my life and carried that negativity around wherever I went. Of course, it turned into judgement.

I’m still not perfect (duh) but I’m more at peace with myself than I’ve ever been. I’ve learned that things in my life don’t have to be “perfect” to be good. I aim to stay positive, no matter what the circumstances. I look at the people around me, even difficult customers, and try find something beautiful about them. I love myself and am able to love those around me. My smiles are finally real.


How quick are you to judge the people around you? Do you constantly pick them apart to build yourself up? Unfortunately, we all do. But I encourage you to start being aware. Every time you start to judge someone, stopbreathe, and find something beautiful. You’ll be amazed by what you discover.

I know that 90% of my posts turn into life-lessons- I apologize if it’s not your jam. But, for me, this blog serves as a place to share my journey. As I change, grow, and free myself of past burdens, I want to bring you along. We all deserve to be happy and I know it’s possible. I’m here to prove it.

Here’s to loving ourselves AND others…


  1. I had a friend who couldn’t stop talking about all of the kinds of things he hated about people. It was a very annoying habit that was leeching its way into my head, which i had worked hard to keep positive. One day we were walking down the street and he said “Ugh! I hate that guy’s facial piercing!” I then said to him “Okay, you found something you don’t like, now find two things you DO like about him.” He immediately was able to say “I like his hat and his shorts.” It’s a really good habit to train your brain to think positively. Also, listing 3 good things about your day before you go to sleep. No matter how bad your day, there are ALWAYS three good things.

    On another note, to remind myself that there is beauty in everything, I like to watch my favorite movie, “American Beauty.” A wonderful change of perspective 🙂

    • Emily said:

      That’s SUCH a good idea. Ah- I love it. Next time I hear someone making a judgement about another person I’m going to challenge them to find 2 good things about them. We’ll see if they’re able to do it!

      And I looove that movie! I’m with you. (:

  2. I love hearing your thoughts, girl… especially when they’re accompanied by a wonderfully foamy cappuccino 😉 You’re so right that a lot of the flaws we see in others are actually just projections of the things we dislike about ourselves. I know that that more unhappy I am with myself, the more critical I become of others as well… and as cliche as it sounds, we really can’t love others unless we love ourselves first.

    • Emily said:

      I knew you’d appreciate the foam. (:
      And that’s cliche but 100% true- we HAVE to love ourselves and then everything else will fall into place.

  3. I love your posts, because they’re always so meaningful and they relate so much to so many of our lives, whether we admit to it or not. I know that I tend to judge people when I feel like they’re judging me, and whether they are or not, it’s not a habit I want to keep up. I think the most non-judgmental people out there are those that love and accept themselves the most!

    • Emily said:

      Thank you so much, Ashley. I really appreciate all of your kind words and constant support!
      And I’m the same way- I think it’s human nature to get defensive and judge other people if we think they’re judging us. But, if we try, there’s always something good we can discover about them!

  4. That is an amazing looking cup of coffee. I can definitely relate to finding flaws in others when what I was truly doing was trying to cover up my own flaws. Life is so much more enjoyable when we can accept and even embrace our flaws.

    • Emily said:

      It tasted even more amazing than it looks, believe it or not!
      And you’re so right. Life is fun when we allow it to be. (:

  5. Taylor said:

    I completely enjoy your posts, most of them I can relate to but can never find the words. I think the comparison trap catches many people and to be able to over come that is a feat. On another note, holy cow I want that cup of coffee! 🙂

    • Emily said:

      Yay! Thank you so much.
      And right? It was one of the best cappuccinos I’ve ever had! Foam heaven. (:

  6. P said:

    I absolutely love these types of posts Emily, and it is your blog so you have the right to post whatever you want :P!
    It can be hard to find the positive when you’re frustrated, drained of energy, and tired of just being around people, but finding at least one positive thing can totally help :)!

    • Emily said:

      Aw- thank you!
      And you’re totally right. Exhaustion makes positivity a little more challenging but it’s definitely worth it. (:

  7. I have been meaning to write myself motivational messages like the ones in this post–it would help me a lot.

    • Emily said:

      It definitely helps. You should!

  8. I love this! I always encourage others to accept people and be less judgmental. Obviously I make the mistake of being over judgmental sometimes as well, but life is a whole lot better if you’re looking at the positive aspects of people’s personalities rather than the negatives. 🙂
    Honestly, I like the life lessons. They’re pretty spot on, and I’m kind of a sappy person at heart, haha.

    • Emily said:

      I think we all still make mistakes when it comes to judgement sometimes but, as long as we’re making an effort, that’s all that matters.
      And thank you! I’m such a sap at heart too. haha.

  9. I LOVE THIS! Positivity is something each of us has to choose, and I am so happy that you are loving yourself now! It’s an uphill battle, but loving yourself more often than not will improve your quality of life. Keep it up, girl!

    • Emily said:

      It’s definitely an uphill battle but it’s well-worth the effort! Thank you. (:

  10. Lisa said:

    Great post lovely. So true about judging other people. I used to do that a lot in my past, and am kind of disgusted with the fact over how ugly I was on the inside. A lot has changes since then, since you know that was like 8 years ago, but it still makes me sad that I thought so poorly of who I was.
    It’s so true that life really begins once we accept ourselves for the good and the bad and leave the judgement behind.

    • Emily said:

      I feel the same way about the person I used to be. I can’t believe how harshly I treated people around me. But, we’ve grown and learned from the experience which is all that matters. (:

  11. Ellie said:

    I’ve learned that the only judge is God and that fact is supremely freeing 🙂 I just try to be thankful for who I am and who I’ve been blessed to have met, both good and bad.

  12. Kate said:

    I love this post! I work as a waitress and sometimes there are customers that I seriously just cannot stand. Luckily, I’m able to keep my patience, but I definitely think I could work on trying to find the good in them. … even the lady who needs eight refills of Diet Coke and doesn’t leave a tip. Every day.

    I also loved the comment about finding three good things in your day.
    For a week for one of my Psych classes we were told to write in a journal before bed everything that was stressing us out, and then after that three good things about our day. Doing that supposedly helps your sleep by allowing you to focus on the good instead of the stress!

    • Emily said:

      I LOVE that idea! I’ve been having trouble sleeping because of stress and anxiety so I’m definitely going to try that. (:
      And I work in a restaurant too so I completely understand the frustrating customers! They test my patience on a daily basis. haha.

  13. fortheloveofkale said:

    I love this : “My smiles are finally real.” That is so profound and so true. You are a real blessing in my life, girl.

  14. livinglearningeating said:

    Yay, I’m so glad that things are looking up for you!

  15. I love that you’re coming out with life lessons as you write – that’s what the best writing does, anyway, it reveals things to you even though you’re the one writing it, and I’m happy to read and benefit from your wisdom!

  16. Erin said:

    Love this! I sometimes will catch myself being super judgmental of others and I just feel so obnoxious!

  17. Irina @ Chocolatea Time said:

    Such a lovely post 🙂 I’m a big preacher of self-love. One of my favorite quotes of all-time is “your first and last love is self-love.” Looking back, it’s pretty clear that at my own unhappiest hours/days/weeks/months I’m much more spiteful and just plain old mean to others. We HAVE to be satisfied with ourselves before sharing our love with others. I’m glad to see that big smile 🙂 Cheers to a new happier healthier you!

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