My weekend >>>
I didn’t get to see my mom for Mother’s Day (I was working) but thankfully I was able to go home and celebrate with her last weekend, so I didn’t feel like I missed out too much. It was another weekend filled with work, friends,
warm hot weather, a little shopping, and smiles. Just the way I like it.
All of the changes that I’ve been dealing lately with in regards to my family have left me thinking a lot about parent-child relationships. No two families are exactly alike and we were all raised with different rules, expectations, and values. Every family dynamic is different and that’s a beautiful thing.
However, all of our differences aside, there seem to be two common denominators:
1. Parents want the ‘best’ for their children.
2. Children want to make their parents proud.
There’s definitely nothing wrong with either fact- they’re great, actually- as long as they don’t become obsessions. And unfortunately, that happens more frequently that we’d care to admit.
Growing up, I dealt with both of these things. Being a perfectionist, I wanted nothing more than to always be the best. Okay, that’s great. But eventually I fell into the trap of only feeling good about myself when I was validated by someone else. Not so great. I put the desires of a parent before my own and, ultimately, suppressed the things that made me happy to pursue what they wanted.
It has taken years and I still struggle with it on a daily basis. Recently, I’ve come to realize that it’s not okay for a parent to have such high and specific expectations that you feel limited. Figuring out what we want to do with our lives is difficult enough without the burden of wondering whether or not our parents will be proud of our choices. A child’s happiness should be enough to make them happy.
As we grow up, we’re constantly changing- physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. That’s part of life. Through it all we must remember that, no matter what the world around us is saying, we’re entitled to our own happiness. Find joy and validation within yourself, not from external sources- that’s the only way that you’ll ever feel completely fulfilled. Make your parents proud by listening to your heart and believing in yourself. Then live a life that you’re proud to call your own.
Here’s to discovering strength from within…